Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Random Stuff 2

Long time since I've last written in this blog. I don't  know what to write anymore. Or, I do have some ideas but then I never start. I think about this blog sometimes and what I've written in the past. Maybe I was too open. But I don't think I will be erasing anything. The fact is when I write a new post it's all about things I've revisited, like how normality sucks, how socialization is a fiasco, and stuff you have probably being bored to hear again. I would still write such stuff though, although I would like to see things from a new perspective. I don't want to look like a grumpy old man making the same old rants. But I do believe on most things I have explained in the past, it's just that things are like they are, ok society is like this, most people are like that and I differ, normality is a lie, but what to do next? I have things in mind but then again I have things in my personal life to fix too, so I forget about the normality cool aid for a while..

So, the things in my mind during this period is my struggle to find a job, my struggle with interviews that lead to nowhere and my search whether I am making a mistake since I see people around me who know their stuff less getting jobs after few tries and me struggling for more than a year. I had some interesting thoughts about it lately that I would like to write down. Basically it's my lack of self-esteem that maybe makes me look not confident enough during the interviews (and most of them are over the phone which complicates things further). It's an important fact. Of course it's easy to say and hard to look confident in an interview. 

One would also wonder, so why is it more important for a job to look confident than knowing your stuff? Someone would say that if you are more confident then it means that you are more social, so you will not create problems to the employees. I think that's bullshit because as a person I may be shy but I am not arrogant. Asocial does not mean antisocial. I have friends who will look both knowing their stuff and overconfident about that in a job interview, yet they would argue with the very first chance that their method of work is the only right one in the world. I know they would get much more easily jobs than me but they could be a pain in the ass in a job.

You know what I think? I am not alone. Most of the participants in an interview wouldn't be far away than my case. Only in few interviews I am less talkative that I should and more recently I am just average in confidence. Not shy and struggling with talk, not overconfident, just the average guy. Like most of the people who took the interview. So, when the interviewer has seen 20 persons and 18 of them are average, the two overconfident guys will win. As an interviewer you can't make your mind when nobody stands out from the crowd. What about my portfolio though? Very few people code for hobby. Doesn't seem to matter. Maybe other people put stuff on their CVs (their university final project, some work they done) and it seems as important as mine even if they might not code for hobby. At the end, everyone can manage to fill a CV with any stuff one can find so that it makes it harder for anyone who knows their stuff to stand out from the crowd. And what is left? Seeming overconfident. And another thing someone told me and I had in mind recently too, do not look needy. Do not look like you definitely have to get the job. The mentality should be "I don't need you! I don't need this job desperately. I have just passed by to see what you are working on and if it interests me. I couldn't care less whether I take the job!". Maybe not tell them, but feel like this, live this role. Kinda hard, but kinda better for my nerves too if it also makes me stop thinking about failing with the interview.

That's it. Interviews are a fiasco. You just have to make them believe that you know your stuff no matter what. They need a good reason to select you out of the crowd, you just have to look unique.

What else? There are lot's of stuff I want to write in my other blogs. I have a long time to update Plasma fun and there things I can write about new games I am currently playing, demos and stuff, things I could be writing but I was bored to but remember every time I play these games. Computer Hermit is fine and I write opinions some times but there is more I would like to write. And then I did something else, I resurrected Almost Skeptic, that old blog about paranormal and UFOs. I had some posts in here which I've transferred again. Why I did that? I don't know, maybe because I am more interested to write about these stuff again (although I haven't done this yet) and there are already too many posts in here, and this blog is dead right now and the thematology is different. There are a lot of things happening in my life right now and I don't know when I'll start with a post. But I am pleased already with the 5-7 posts I have in there from the past, not as long and incomprehensible as the ones in here..

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