Sunday, October 24, 2010

Cleaning up

Ok, I did it again. I had to reorganize and reduce the number of blogs I have. Some subjects could be merged in the same thing, for example I once used to talk about normality and individualism and that stuff in Optimus Monologue. I have also seen that some of my blogs are more famous, while those others get quite less hits while they were subparts of the original Optimus Monologue. So why not merge the small ones if thematically similar with the few popular and big ones? Less blogs to take care of and people who read Optimus Monologue might find a post from Almost Skeptic too.

There are three thematic parts now:

My thoughts (from normality, mental disorders or philosophical stuff to paranormal, skepticism or random news, usually anything that doesn't have to do with computers, tech and demos but are on the other spectrum of my brain)

Optimus Monologue += Normality Struggle + Almost Skeptic

Computer tech stuff (thoughts about computer culture, demoscene, hackers merged with my programming experiences, demo previews and other tech relatd stuff)

Computer Hermit += Kodeus Delerius

More fun stuff Plasmafun (demo/game/movie/web watching-review). I also kept random screenshot blog and didn't merged with this because it would be a mess. Plasmafun goes quite well as I see and I love writting those reviews and posting screenshots. I deleted the greek blog "Με έχουν πιάσει Οτινανισμοί" too. Although it had too many hits which I cannot comprehend.

I like it how things are organized now. I am sorry for those who were looking at the old blogs I exported but I think you are also hooked to those places where I imported these again. No more changes for my blogs and I will be more careful before thinking about opening another one.

p.s. Oh, Optimus Knight was an image blog I opened at since a long time and I forgot to add it right there on the links. I have a lot of these blogs scattered around, things that didn't worked and I forgot (but optimus is fine) in different blog communities, from doomworld to paranormal community.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

So, I am back. What now?

It's been two weeks since I came back to Greece. I didn't managed to go very well with my master nor getting a job in the UK which was my primary motive. When I remember this and how things could have been if different decisions were taken it makes me feel pretty much sad. It's a hard struggle to follow but I should remember that this was a decision I made with responsibility and I said I was prepared for the worse.

I should also remember that there is something that I gained from this time, something that is far more important than getting another paper or a job, something that goes on right this time, an internal evolution which is unseen. It is what people cannot see and yet they expect to see external changes in you to understand. Once or two, few people have claimed that I have not changed after so many years at all, yet I know I am quite different in mind than in the past yet I am the same in the core. All they want to see is external changes, especially those they believe are the right ones.

The main thing that I enjoyed in my trip is finally being peaceful and clearing up my mind. A lot of things have changed in the way I see my life and myself. It is still an ongoing process but I have gone through the paradigm shift of how different my emotions could be and I feel confident about that. My understanding is not really that of a simple idea but several concepts transformed in my mind, things that didn't made much sense finally go well together and fit with each other in a way that makes me happier and more content with the facts.

Real life challenges still brings me back to reality though, yet it doesn't mean that all my peace was a fantasy. Since I have lived through the paradigm shift of a different experience, me and myself alone through this enlightenment as I understand it and endorse it, nothing can take it away from me. Even those days where I am back, living with my parents (but not for long), jobless and memories reminding me of failure.

This is a challenging moment and somehow I should love challenges more, it's a motivating thing to make me stronger, to not see this sadness and feeling of failure as an emotion to succumb into, not listen to people that try to remind this to me, but fight as individual because I am a human being too, I should be respected no matter how things have come to be. And first of all I should respect myself. And evolve more.

So, I am back. Maybe not for ever. But as long as I stay here, it is a challenge to make the best out of it, avoid or ignore misery and try to follow the new path of me.
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