Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Chemicals

I often wonder how much is happening right now in my body or brain while I am not aware about. How strongly can my mood be affected by things that our out of my control and not even know the source of the cause.

I had this rare condition yesterday which is kinda way cool even if it's excessive and possibly energy consuming. It doesn't happen frequently, usually I am the other way around. I had it yesterday and I remember another time I had it too, which was positive in a way because it made my hyperactive and hypersocial. I remember having a great mood and throwing jokes all the time. And after that comes the usual drawback effect when it all arrives back to normal. Ok, that's to be expected.

Yesterday I tried to really observe the phenomenon, to notice at realtime that something is happening to me and actually try to understand what triggers the effect. Whether it's some kind of food rich in specific bitamins, some psychological effect or just pure coincidence I would be interested to know. I am not taking drugs or anything, it just happened. One interesting things I noticed was that my hands were shaking. And of course the hyperactivity was extreme. Maybe it looked like I was nervous. I also wasn't in a diet. But somehow I felt I wanted to eat something. Maybe I am lacking specific bitamins?

But how can this thing made me more social (I wouldn't say less anxious)? Simply things were going fast and when I wanted to say something I opened my mouth and said it. There was no slow down process where I have to analyze what I want to say or my emotional filters block me from saying things. Not necessary bad things but silly socialization attempts which would normally be 90% avoided at first. When this happens I feel like I am transformed.

Could I learn more about this thing and possibly get some clues on various things that interest me? Building a better mood, enjoying socialization, fighting anxiety or just getting to know more about myself and the chemicals affecting me. Maybe somebody who is happening to read this blog could give me a clue. If they are usually submissive like me but rare burst of hyperactivity and hypersocialization with similar effects (tension, hand shaking) has happened to them and they already know what it might be or how to induce that effect to oneself?

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