Numerous thoughts were collected since my last post. And so, I guess that's the primary reason for the existence of this blog. It just comes like this as my thoughts do. Without worrying if anyone finds this boring or believes there is only one reason for blogs, different than this one. I like how it comes alone as it is. And as it comes and goes through parallel yet not identical issues, it happens once again that I have shifted away from the initial reason when I started. If there was any..
The last moment for today. The usual anxiety. How should I exploit the remaining time at best before I go to sleep and then wake up for yet another long day at work. I had this one even when I was jobless and dozens of hours were spent into doing nothing or just being anxious about doing nothing :P. What about now that maybe 5 or 6 hours remain for the rest of my day?
I toss between creativity or relaxation. Creativity is hard. Maybe during the first month in the work I've noticed I was still kinda active as a coder for the remaining hours in the evening at home. But that was only for the first month. It just doesn't happen anymore. Still my activity when I was jobless wasn't better and I didn't even had an excuse then. Relaxation is easier. Usually it's like playing a computer game, surfing on the net, doing other minor things and maybe watching some movie late at night. It leaves me an empty feeling of having accomplished nothing for today. Yesterday I went for creativity though and ended up at night with a code that I am proud of but a sad feeling that my precious relaxation time is over and I have to go back to sleep. Something I have never felt after finishing a good piece of code instead of being tempted to waste my time in another senseless mission on daggerfall (yes, my brand new top favorite game after doom!). Usually I feel like it's worth the time spent..
Sometimes I may decide to go out for a walk in order to avoid this "creativity vs relaxation" dilemma. Sometimes a friend calls and asks me to meet together. I never say no. Until only recently. Twice. Because of the job and the feeling that there are like 5 hours left for myself or my creative hobbies and was very tired to get dressed and go out. Today I had a great mood to start with some CPC code and then maybe go out for the remaining time but I had to stop my work earlier at the peak of my motivation because my friend phoned too early. Timings are not very good, how much if you have a very tight piece of time for yourself and your hobbies..
And now I am back. And I am wondering what I can do to add a little more meaning to this last moment before going to bed. Gaming? Nope. Some TV series? Maybe. Coding? Too late, these things need hours away. Writting something in this blog. Something that came out of my current state of mind. Even something senseless.
And there it is..