Sunday, June 24, 2007

I don't fight it.

It's too hot here. I would now prefer to live in a northern country. Somehow I can bare with cold more (and it's closer to my personality) than heat. In reality, temperature never seems to bother me as much as other people. When I was going through stupid situations in the army where they didn't allow us to move under a shadow but had us all under the sun, it didn't matter me much as other people who complain strangely (for me) too much for such a matter. And there are times when I am wearing something that is considered stupid according to the weather and people notice this and yell at me like crazy about that. But I don't get it at the time. It seems that either some other affair in my mind makes me forget of such "minor" incidents like that I have the habit to tie even the highest button in my shirt (and people always notice that) but don't find it necessary to losen it. Or that I am not as sensitive as other concerning temperature. But I still do understand how annoyingly hot it is today and at first I think that I experience it as badly as those people who complain more than me. Is it really so though? Is it maybe similar to the fact that other people tell me that most other people have to bear with anxiety like me and so I shouldn't complain, but can they be sure if my levels of anxiety are similar to theirs?

I went to a bar with some friend that came back from the army (He has to bare now with what I am almost finished with. Fortunately I will go back and get rid of my last 3 months during the winter, my favorite time! And not have to eat that heat over my head!). We ordered two Breezer but changed them to Ringo but she brought us Baylis. Ugh! Probably the music was too loud! And had to paid 8 euros each. UGH!!!

I am watching now my YouTube favorites. Sometimes, when the bandwidth gets too low here for streaming radio or I want to run something specific, I fire up some youtube videos of concert or other material that happen to have the specific music playing in the background (e.g. remember those industrial/ebm music people usually bounded to some random anime stuff) but then of course I have to go there and press the reply button each few minutes. Crazy? Now I am listening to something different, Enya and specifically to this clip. It's taking Enya's music and bounding it to some video someone created there. I like how it fits with space. As for the music, I don't know, I found the specifically one so... soooothing. That I loved it. It's really a great relaxation thing! It was funny to walk around the city after midnight, in darkness, listening to this in my MP3 player (and humming it too =). Enya is something new for me and different that I recently discovered and I really like her. Yey!

And so because I don't fight it (some greek expression you are used to in the army, like I am dead meat, ubertired, gone mad, etc) I write random things. Fun!

Now I said space, I remembered that today and yesterday I wanted to finally get back to coding after excessive adventure game playing because there are new projects in the table. But I didn't manage to work. My brother invited me to watch a whole season of Stargate. Oh and he and some sci-fi friend of him really got me into this and Battlestar Galactica too. I love them! Stargate is at first sight fun because of the characters (and the funny quotes of O'Neil) but especially interesting because there are so many diferrent worlds, civilizations, archeology, religion, philosophy, science, etc blended together. Battlestar Galactica is more serious and dramatic (which I really love!) and it really got me into watching it to get more into the story. Both contain an element that I find intriguing. The possibility of machines taking a step in evolution. In BG it's a main part in the story, in Stargate it's just those damn Replicators with their arachnoid things and humanoids expanding exponentially. It just makes me wonder in awe in how short time could they evade planet earth and use all machinery around to replicate themselves and conquer it. Scary!

Anyways,. these were some random thoughts.

So, I had to code, first for our second game project at Dot Red Games and secondly for some C64 release. I had a little request I have to finish soon but it's not so easy to suddenly move away from the compiler and start typing 6502 assembly again. I have an idea that displays a new effect from me (which I yet have to code) to show that I am alive and can code a good thing, but if I don't manage to start with it these days, the alternative option is to make something more simple that takes only 2-3 days of lazy coding just to finish with it. Because it can't wait, it's a party invitation. I'd prefer to go on with the effect idea than a simple text writer but if I don't stop being lazy I will have to go the second way. Fortunatelly I already have it in my mind and then just stick a logo and music there and voila. Maybe I'll only work on the commercial game project after I finish with this little request and forget my scene activity for a while. Till I start thinking about it again in August. I need some rest..

And so I was still lazy by watching Stargate or playing the AGS games. It's a tool allowing you to create your own adventure games and with vast capabilities and scripting (you can find adventures with quite many unique interfaces, from command line adventures to point and click or even non-adventure games similar to Flashback done with this engine). And there is a whole community making their own games with this. Once upon a day I played an AGS adventure called 5 days a stranger and that's how I found about the rest. Well,. if you play this one, try 7 days a skeptic, Trilby's Notes and 6 days a sacrifice in that order. The first one is not as intriguing as the rest but the later are all connected to the stories this creator have made, all bearing some great atmosphere, terror, mystery and well combined plot that is revealed time by time. Maybe there are several other good AGS adventures in the list but these are the first I played and personally I liked Yahtzee's works so much (Also try the 1213 series and his rather humorous rest of the other titles in the site). Now, I am trying to have a look at works from other AGS adventure authors..

I also finished KDIZD that brought me a headache but was worth the time.

Now I am in an internet cafe. My laptop is at home where the air conditioning works and I can drink water. I was working part time in a friend's home because I liked to be alone but it was unbearable anymore. Also, my desktop PC is kaput now so I can only work in the laptop which I took back at my home few days ago. Though I was still lazy..

Enough with that! I am still getting a bit nervous about not being able to sit my ass in chair to work for hours in some puzzling pieces of code. Maybe that's the reason I don't fight it (anxiety). Maybe I should be a gardener, not a programmer..

Tomorrow, I will work. (I doubt :P)


Anonymous said...

Despite the heat you sound pretty well all in all, in any case it was nice to read your random thoughts. Looking forwards to seeing those coding results one day. see you again soon :)

nitro2k01 said...

Even if you're not bothered by heat, can you feel it? I mean can you do things like burning your hand with a lighter without feeling pain?

Optimus said...

Of course I can feel it. Of course I will feel intense ammount of pain if I burn my hand with fire. What I mean is that I don't seem to be bothered as much as other people. But still it feels to me like something that can be annoying enough that at the beginning I thought this is how heat feels to the rest. But then I made the assumption that maybe it feels worse to some people than with me, but of course it also feels enough bad to me to not let me understand the difference. It's just that I have seen people complaining about it as if it's the most important thing. But maybe I am wrong maybe I am just occupied by other thoughts at the point that I don't give much thought to the heat. I am not sure..

..I would be sure if I could right now be able to feel the levels of all these (temperature, anxiety) as they are occuring to other people. That would answer a lot of my questions.

Locations of visitors to this page