Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Fragments of hope..

Part II

..that someone might understand.

Humans have the habit to make a primary split between two opinions/kinds of people. To see things in black and white, not their shades of grey. So do they tell me when I try to explain to them about what I wrote in my previous article. They claim that I overanalyze things and that I see things as black and white and nothing else (I am surprised by that accusation!). And so do I think about them. Sometimes I say that people don't understand me. Oneday I made up the important change in thought that maybe it's me who doesn't understand them. Thus, I once tried to ask them (and still do) why they tell me all these stuff about life, what's their primary motivation behind their "caring" to preach about, in case I misunderstood their reason. Though, I still can't get a proper answer but only general things, customs of thoughts, predictable quotes. It's like people are robots, motivated by habits/custom opinions and not true deep thought in the essence of reality. Maybe I'll be able to understand humans another day. I am preety confused right now..

And so do I use to see things upon myself too. Sometimes I am prone to habit/custom thoughts too, don't get me wrong. As about splits, a classic one of my view consisted of those people who enjoy their life in the way that most people enjoy it versus the few special ones that differ from the average. Usually I do expect to hear those predefined beliefs about life that I hate from the first kind of people. And they do proove me right most of the times. Sometimes I also get frustrated that even people of my kind like geeks or other deviants, support the words of the first and struggle to match to these views, instead of being theirselves. And in a cold way they preach about the "basic aspects of life that should be universal for all" which makes me sad.

A reverse of the effect would be to see a person from the first kind who enjoys life in the "normal" way however despises strict beliefs about life. Too rare! But it's something that seemed to happen for once and saved my hope for a while. It was most unexpected to hear those words from her. Maybe the fact that she was drunken helped into that, but it's like she was in struggle to explain me her worries, surprisingly for her kind. At that night, I slept so well, with a rising of hope that someone might think diferrent out there, especially the one least expected.

One story: I went out to meet a friend who was having fun in the greek way (buzukia and ouzo) with some people I haven't met before. Outside, it was cold and raining. I was expecting a boring night and at the beginning I didn't have the mood for it, just went out for the sake of it (Struggling to be fitting to the company as usual ;P. Some ouzo did the job preety well though ;).

Among the males there was a girl in our table. An attractive blonde wearing a black dress. She was from Palestine. Not that it does matter much, but it's always interesting to me to speak with people of cultures I haven't met before. It appeared that she was a "regular" girl in terms of living her life in the way most people do, a bit more crazy and exaggerated though, drunken and behaving in the "extreme" side of it. I really can't explain it and can't remember her attitude right now, it only amused me that she had more than one boyfriends at the same table, telling me silly things about her relationships with two people right there.

That girl put the glasses on me. I slept with hope at night..

During the last half hour when I got preety bored, she suddenly started a wild chat with me. Being preety drunken, she brought up her monologue that I purely enjoyed, like she had something in deep that she needed to tell me. I don't remember how it all started, I sortof recall that she laughed when I told her that I am deep into computer programming, but her laughter was in a positive way and she did said that I am just like my friend John that was sitting in the same table. Then she insisted with a nice aura that me and John should get laid with geeky girls who are more closer in our way of life/thought, no matter if I was trying to tell her at the time that it's not necessary for me anymore (Geeky/scene girls was an old passion I abandoned in the past, because of my fears/taboo of what people would say about my case! Was I mistaken by my fears concerning "irregular"?). But she did insisted with a laughter and a possitive attitude! What she later told me surprised me. She was having crazy fun with her life, going out with various boyfriends, enjoying the greek life in the extreme, no matter what everyone said. She complained about most greek women gossiping her about her unsettled life, calling her a "poytana" as she funnily pronounced in broken greek ;). And there were more insightful or funny things she told me, surprisingly unique considering her "kind" (to my prejudice), quite a unique set of personal beliefs that were incompatible to some regular beliefs. Her monologue was so passionate, like she had something to tell me, something of her own, a manifest against the blaming on her "ubernormal" life which is more extreme than "normal" but people don't accept because it still goes over the edge through the unexpected side.

Her heart said that that's the way she likes to live no matter what others say. But that person, evolving the "normal" into a new extreme that even regular people started to despise, while at the same time accepting the other side of our geeky extreme and telling me that she just lives her life and accepts our own ways of living too, resulted in such a burst of hope that made my day and gave me new food for thought.

Such a unique and enlightening experience for me, I wish I can have another chat with that girl in the future. Maybe I should let her read this blog now she is sober and tell me what she thinks. (Hello! :)

So there are people out there. From there where you don't expect them. And that's even more hopeful..

p.s. I somehow wished to share you this story for the 2nd part but normally I had more interesting things to share, though I'll stop here for today. So, there will surely be a 3rd, 4th and maybe 5th part, I'll rename the titles into something else too. Gotta close soon now..


Anonymous said...

Happy new Year!I really enjoyed reading your article and your descriptions.I think that you are an open-minded individual that knows a lot about his inner feelings and thoughts.Judging from the surface and hypothesizing is always creating judgments that are usually wrong.This is why people tell you what normal is and what is not but this that they call normal is what it is for them and can not be generalized.You also had a negative assumption about going to this place bouzoukia (don't like them myself) but you still had fun.And it shows after the conversation with that girl that appearances are misleading.I am glad that she is living her life and for sure her friends don't call her normal.

Josh said...

According to a guy called Spencer Brown, the foundation of all logic is making distinctions, but layered. It's called boundary calculus:

Sometimes people say "not all things are black and white" when they are suggesting you give up on logic!

Here's one of my perspectives on people; it is that people make decisions based on (sometimes inconsistent) axiomatic systems which create their "first principles". Some people like to start with their axioms close to the surface, but either things will surprise them and cause them to expand their understanding and thinking, or they will refuse to accept them, preferring to keep their quick and simple model of the world. I remember a boy in my RE class who refused to believe that if you chop off a chickens head it can still run. Instead loudly claiming "If you kill it, it's dead!"
Now the important thing is that according to formal logic not everything can be proved right or wrong, unless you can also prove contradictions. So if you want to come to clear answers on stuff, then you need some kind of faith, some worldview, however "normal" or "strange" you are. Some peoples assumptions are just more strict than reality, and so restrict their freedom to what they have already been or what they think others expect.

But all this is just a logic perspective, there are other ways to look at it! Although, as I said, it is better if your forms of understanding don't cause contradictions with each other.

On the surface thing, I have heard the phrase "Everyone's normal till you get to know them" I think it has a certain level of truth!

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